Happy Birthday Keith

[mushu mama]

Well, I thought that for the forums biggest talker ( judging by the 600+ posts) a birthday post was in order....

HAP - PY BIRTHDAY KEITH

But OMG... .if you think cos its your birthday I'll go easy on the 'old jokes' you are sadly mistaken ( and as your elder, I can talk with authority on the subject )

So let the old joke fest begin.....

I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.

You know you are old when....
1.You're the life of the party -- even if it lasts until 8PM.
2.you're having trouble remembering simple words like...
3.. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
4. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
5.getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

A couple of Barbie Dolls for the middle-aged:
Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.


The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.

Top 10 Old Folks' Party Games

1. Musical Recliners
2.Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
3.Hide and Go Pee
4.Simon Says Something Incoherent
5.Doc, Doc Goose
6.Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
7.Kick the Bucket
8. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
9. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
10. Sag, You're It!


A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented. "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"



And finally......


Senility Prayer

God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

~ Lisa ~

[KeithS]

Thanks Lisa for all those kind words

Now I've got to go and...errr...I forget...something I've gotta do right now.

[mushu mama]

Don't tell me you are sensitive about your age Keith?

Its a public holiday up here so I had spare time on my hands - once I started finding 'over the hill' jokes it kind of snowballed....


and I'm so glad four brave souls have voted in the poll...
was all meant in the spirit of fun...

~ Lisa ~

[KeithS]

Don't tell me you are sensitive about your age Keith?

Definitely not 37 and proud of it!

Thanks for the poll - you caught me on the hop earlier, I was trying to think of something clever to say, but my dinner was going cold - hehe.

It is interesting that everyone is voting for the hostage answer - must be something to do with how many of us travel

[sandie]

Ha ha - I have 36 days until I am as old as you!!!!!!!!

[mushu mama]

Ok... now you two whippersnappers are making me feel ancient....

It's lucky I don't look a day over 60... huh?

~ Lisa ~

[sandie]

Dragons hold their age well!

[ajp]

I couldn't wait to turn 37 last year. I love Monty Python and if you've seen the Holy Grail, there's a line where someone says "I'm 37. I'm not old". You have to see it to appreciate it

[mushu mama]

Dragons hold their age well!

I like to think so.....

Its really important to keep the scales well moisturised with Oil of Olay - Dragon Strength; fly like nobodys watching and paint ones talons in bright colours. ...

I couldn't wait to turn 37 last year.

You too?

anyway, let me recommend a Midlife crisis in a couple of years....
One of my friends says I should write a 'how to' book on achieving the best one possible....

I wasn't that bad... I didn't buy a car......


~ Lisa ~

PS: Love Monty Python

[KeithS]

let me recommend a Midlife crisis in a couple of years....

Oooh...a mid-life crisis, they sound interesting. Do I get to chase younger women? If so, do you think Della would get angry? Maybe that is why she goes to body combat every Monday

[ajp]

My midlife crisis is already planned. Fly to East Coast USA, spend a few weeks at WDWR, buy my absolute ultimate dream car, a Plymouth (or Chrysler) Prowler and head West, possibly the long way. Spend a couple of weeks at DLR and put the car on a boat for home! Now, there's only 1 thing missing ....

Keith, considered chasing younger women, but I didn't think I could go through it all of starting it all over again!

[mushu mama]

Do I get to chase younger women?

If you need to ask Keith, then I don't think you are ready for that Midlife crisis thing...

If so, do you think Della would get angry?

Fair chance....
But probably not as mad as if you started chasing younger men.....

Maybe that is why she goes to body combat every Monday

Boy you must take some keeping in line....

My midlife crisis is already planned.

Anthony, Anthony, Anthony ( Lisa shakes her head ) you don't PLAN a midlife crisis - they just occur at will.

Ok... I can see I will need to write that book.

Boys, this is what a midlife crisis looks like:

A) Get a divorce
B) get a tattoo (at least one)
C) pack up and move your life interstate - just cos you can
D) Party Party Party
E) fall for someone you weren't looking for.


But I wouldn't advise getting 'tasteful art shots' done... thats better left to the 18 year olds - theres only so much a soft focus lense can achieve.


Oh yeah... I left the car thing out... I'd rather have a roadbike....
still on the 'to do list'

~ Lisa ~

[ajp]

I didn't say I'm planning WHEN it's going to happen, I just know WHAT I want to happen. Now going through the checklist

A) Get a divorce (Too expensive - need as much money for the car as possible)
B) get a tattoo (at least one) (Can't stand pain)
C) pack up and move your life interstate - just cos you can (Interstate? Now lets see. Victoria, not even when I'm dead, Qld? Too much Blue NSW pride for that. SA, I'm over last century. WA, may as well go stateside. Tassy, speaks for itself)
D) Party Party Party (As long as I can be in bed by 10)
E) fall for someone you weren't looking for. (Again? As I said earlier, couldn't be bothered doing it all again)

I would be interested to read that book when you've written it though!

[mushu mama]

A) Get a divorce (expensive? really? Gee, it really didn't cost me that much.... ):twisted:

B) get a tattoo (at least one) (Can't stand pain) Pfft... men..... it wasn't that bad

C) pack up and move your life interstate - just cos you can (Interstate? Now lets see.
Victoria, not even when I'm dead, just moved from there, totally agree.
Qld? Too much Blue NSW pride for that.Actually, QLD really is beautiful one day- perfect the next
SA, I'm over last century. agreed
WA, may as well go stateside. yep, long way away

Tassy, speaks for itself)too cold, agreed

D) Party Party Party (As long as I can be in bed by 10) of course you can - like I said - party party party

E) fall for someone you weren't looking for. (Again? As I said earlier, couldn't be bothered doing it all again)nope - that was fun.

I would be interested to read that book when you've written it though!

It's called my Diary.... hehe.
working title.... "Musings of a Goddess..... "
look for it in all good bookstores.....

~ Lisa ~

[KeithS]

This is fun I'll be green

A) Get a divorce (expensive? really? Gee, it really didn't cost me that much.... ):twisted: I had one too and it was cheap - but I was young and didn't have any assets!

B) get a tattoo (at least one) (Can't stand pain) Pfft... men..... it wasn't that bad I'm with Anthony - can't stand the pain

C) pack up and move your life interstate - just cos you can (Interstate? Now lets see.
Victoria, not even when I'm dead, just moved from there, totally agree.
Qld? Too much Blue NSW pride for that.Actually, QLD really is beautiful one day- perfect the next
SA, I'm over last century. agreed
WA, may as well go stateside. yep, long way away

Tassy, speaks for itself)too cold, agreed Yep, can't see myself outside of NSW - but then again, I'm not in a crisis - I guess if I was, I'd look elsewhere, Melbourne isn't too bad is it?

D) Party Party Party (As long as I can be in bed by 10) of course you can - like I said - party party party Yeah, I can handle that - it would probably go hand in hand with chasing younger women haha

E) fall for someone you weren't looking for. (Again? As I said earlier, couldn't be bothered doing it all again)nope - that was fun. That's why I can't have a mid-life, I'm happy the way I am and with who I'm with (hope Della reads that - I should get some big points!)