Well, I thought that for the forums biggest talker ( judging by the 600+ posts) a birthday post was in order....
HAP - PY BIRTHDAY KEITH
But OMG... .if you think cos its your birthday I'll go easy on the 'old jokes' you are sadly mistaken ( and as your elder, I can talk with authority on the subject )
So let the old joke fest begin.....
I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
You know you are old when....
1.You're the life of the party -- even if it lasts until 8PM.
2.you're having trouble remembering simple words like...
3.. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
4. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
5.getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
A couple of Barbie Dolls for the middle-aged:
Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
The good news about mid-life is that the glass is still half-full. Of course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are floating in it.
Top 10 Old Folks' Party Games
1. Musical Recliners
2.Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
3.Hide and Go Pee
4.Simon Says Something Incoherent
5.Doc, Doc Goose
6.Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
7.Kick the Bucket
8. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
9. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
10. Sag, You're It!
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented. "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"
And finally......
Senility Prayer
God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
~ Lisa ~