Chocolate

[KeithS]

Okay, now I have Lisa's attention. I just wanted to say how much I like reading your chocolate signatures each day

I have chocoholic friends at work, and I've been entertaining them with your phrase of the day!

[mushu mama]

Chocolate? did someone say Chocolate?

One of my favourite subjects....

Glad you're enjoying my manic signature changing - its my Easter signature - but there are so many good chocolate quotes I decided that too much chocolate was mathematically impossible, so i'm enjoying this calorie free feast too.

And theres some great songs about chocolate too...

Heres a little ditty that has me chuckling everytime I read it....

(WARNING - SOME ADULT THEMES....)


the story behind the ditty:
Author's note: Our dog ate five hundred dollars worth of chocolate, counting the vet bills. Somehow the song about it grew to include everything else. I usually add a topical verse whenever I sing it. Started in 1988 and still growing. You can fill in the blanks.





Here's the melody:
G F# E D | C D E | F# D E F# | G A B |
G F# E D | C E G | F# A D F# | G G |

(only I can't read music )

Father never seemed to make
enough to feed his children steak
but Mom churned out that chocolate cake
Chocolate made my childhood

Chocolate is so action packed
Makes some children hypreact
But too much speed is what I lack
Grown ups need more chocolate

Dogs love chocolate, don't know why
speeds their hearts up till they die
Vet bill's gonna make you cry
Don't let dogs have chocolate

Some say growing old's the pits
Balding heads and sagging hips
But chocolate doesn't give us zits
I'll trade my youth for chocolate

How d'you know that Easter's here?
Chocolate bunnies do appear
If Easter happened twice a year
We could have more chocolate

Careless love can break your heart
God knows smoking isn't smart
Too much beer can make you fart
Nothing's safe but chocolate

If your husband's youth is spent
His get-up-and-go has went
Chocolate straightens what is bent
Feed your husband chocolate

Young folks doubt that those above
Forty-five years old can love
Sex, of course, we don't think of
But we can still love chocolate

Belgium is a damn fine place
they eat chocolate by the case
so let the whole damn human race
sing the praise of chocolate

When I'm in a traffic jam
I don't sulk and say "goddamn"!
I'm quite happy where I am
Sittin', eatin' chocolate

If your waistband's getting tight
and dieting is such a fight
you can curb your appetite
Precede each meal with chocolate

Americans cut down, I hear
To less than five pounds each a year
It shows that when you drink weak beer
You lose your taste for chocolate

Canadian women have it tough
Do without some vital stuff
A survey says they don't get enough
_______________ Chocolate

Now that ______ is twenty-five
We're so glad that (s)he's alive
It makes a good excuse to drive
To ______ house for chocolate

______ is a damn fine place
They eat chocolate by the case
The future isn't hard to face
In ______ with chocolate

Here at this folk song retreat
Some may think the weather's neat
my chocolate melted in the heat
Sunshine's hard on chocolate

Some of you may think this song
Is short on meaning and much too long
And I'm not going to say you're wrong
Let's go have some chocolate.


And in the interest of entertainment, I took the liberty of writing a new verse - seeing as that is the whole point of this song....

When searching for that caffeine hit,
When cravings simply will not quit,
Save yourself the dummy spit,
Just have a block of chocolate.....

( I don't think theres enough caffeine in it for you though Keith )

And for the benefit of your Chocoholic workmates.... I will today start the 'rules of chocolate consumption' as my signatures.....

Yep, I'm the 'go to' person for a wonderland of Chocolate facts....

~Lisa~

[KeithS]

haha - that's a great post.

Now talking of dogs eating chocolate - I have an absolutely, totally, manically-addicted-to-chocolate, dog.

I know - everyone out there is saying that you can't feed a dog chocolate...I know that too. But this dog is clever, he's smart, he's ingenious...nothing will stop him from getting at his one vice.

For instance:
1. My dog was with my dad in the car. Dad has bought a chocolate bar with the Sunday morning paper. He then goes to the service station to fill up, but sticks the chocolate bar in the console between the front seats "to protect it". The console has a lift flap. My dad returns from paying for the petrol. The console is open. The chocolate bar wrapper is on the floor. The chocolate is gone. The dog is happy.

2. Easter. I buy easter eggs for Della and my dad. They are wrapped in plastic and in a plastic bag. I put them in my wardrobe. The wardrobe has sliding doors. The doors are closed. I am watching football with my dad at night. He says "Where's the dog?" I look at dad, he looks at me, realisation strikes and I run into my bedroom. The wardrobe is open. The plastic bags are on the floor. The tin foil wrappers are everywhere. My dog is sitting there wagging his tail - eyes bulging out his head. The dog is happy.

These are just two of an ongoing saga of me and dad versus the dog and chocolate. Even if I have a Freddo frog in my work bag, he'll sniff it out - open my work bag and eat it! We have to resort to extreme measures now - he is just too clever...

[mushu mama]

What a Righteous dog

I have a quote for your dog...

The 12-step chocoholics program:
NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
Terry Moore

So what is this wonderdog's name?

Lassie?....... no.... too busy saving lives to eat Chocolate

Toto? ........... nope.......... he takes on lions and tigers and bears ( oh my)

now let me think....

devious, intelligent, creates mayhem with a smile....

must be .....

* *Stitch * *

but I bet he's 'also cute & fluffy'


~Lisa~

[KeithS]

He's not Stitch, but he is cute and fluffy. His name is Charlie (which is appropriate, as he would love a chocolate factory!)

When I get home tonight, I'll post a picture so you can see him.

[mushu mama]

(Whistle....)

Charlie?

Charlie?


Charlie?


Now where could that dog have got to?


OMG

its almost Easter....

Oh No..... the Easter Eggs



~ Lisa ~


Hey cool..... I'm a "D"

[KeithS]

You wouldn't believe how accurate that is !!!