The Neverending Story!

Postby **mushu mama** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 1:38 am

Only to find something they could not possibly have anticipated.....

Quite the contrary to Armageddon... the scene before them had them mesmerized in a bubble of peace.

floating in the centre of the room, was Lisa sitting in her meditative state pondering the fake diary that she was sure that Sandie must have found by now; pondering the rumour mill that would brand her a promiscuous strumpet- which was fine - it made her undercover work so much easier; pondering the need for peace rather than war.

And all around her was a swirling hazy halo of blue light that seemed have an electricity all of its own... emanating from the woman herself.

Keith: (recovering his composure) What...... is ........this?

Julie: I've only seen this once before.... but then that person had been through the Stargate and ascended to a higher self. How could this be?

Anthony & Greg: (long slow whistle...........)

Della: OMG.... Lisa was MIA for a few months recently..... Could she have stumbled across an ancient stargate unknown to the bureau? She does do all that exploring after all....

Keith: (in a hushed, far away voice) Oh No.... Vietnam........ thats where she found it... I couldn't understand why she just disappeared.... its all starting to make sense now...

But before anymore theories could be expounded, Lisa moved ever so slightly... slowly tilting her head back, she smiled..... the blue light dancing on her face...
Her eyes opened...

Lisa: (grinning) 'Bout time you guys got here.... what kept you?

sandie · Postby **sandie** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:22 pm

(Lisa points her finger at Keith and a sharp blue light leaves her finger and strikes him in the chest, he falls to the floor unconscious)

Lisa: Yes about time you arrived - I have been feeling rather peckish and nothing satisfies like human flesh.

Anthony: No.............. don't eat me, I'm too young.

Julie( whipping a wand out of her back pocket and pointing it at Lisa - Crucio!!!!!!!!!!!

Anthony: No....................

Greg: Cool - I've wanted to she her writhe like that for ages. (snickers)

sandie · Postby **sandie** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:23 pm

Anthony: Julie why did you do that?

Julie: Anthony all is not as it seems Padwan, evil comes in many forms. I fear it is not Sandie we should have been tracking.

Postby **KeithS** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:37 pm

Della: Hang on, hang on...I'm the accountant, and I only deal in practicalities - be quiet and listen for second.

Everyone goes quiet...in the background a low hum can be heard.

Greg: What's that?

Della: I think it explains some of Lisa's mystical powers...

Julie: Della, what are you talking about?

Della: You stay out of this - I don't trust you either - out of my way - all of you.

With that, Della runs past Lisa, still floating and writhing in the air - blue lightning bolts cascading around her. Then all of a sudden, sound of humming ceases, the blue light disappears, Lisa's writhing stops, and she floats to the ground, unconscious.

Anthony: What the? What just happened.

Della - stepping back into the room: It was a generator, it powered the disguised forklift holding Lisa in the air, there were blue lights and electrical generators creating the flashes, the electricity that struck Keith came from a hidden lightening rod up her sleeve. She was just a charlatan.

Greg: But what did Julie do to her?

Della: Julie? Oh, she's the real deal, a proper mystic. I mean, look at her, she even supplied broomsticks... Julie? Julie? Oh my God, she's gone, and she's dragged Keith off too.

Sandie (entering the room, carrying the ancient keystone cog-bolt under one arm): She's gone, but I'm here to help you guys, I was always trying to help you guys. Julie was always the insider, twisting things, setting us up against each other... But this time she has made a fateful mistake - she's taken Keith as a hostage, but she failed to take the bottle of primrose oil...

Lisa: uurghghhhrhghh ow owwww oc ouw ouch ouch.

Sandie: Hmmm... seems like my faithful student is coming to. We must complete the machine, and return Keith to us...let's go.

Sandie strides by the shocked team, and heads out of the cave into sunlight...

ajp · Postby **ajp** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:52 am

In a dark room somewhere unknown, Keith groggily regains semi consciousness.

Keith: Julie, it was you all along, but why?

Julie: Why? Why? I had enough of being just another member of the team. With Sandie and Lisa calling the shots, and the highly developed skills of all you men, the rest of us were just there in the background going unnoticed. But now I have the power. And you Keith will turn against your friends and join me. I need an apprentice, and you will join me or perish

Keith: I will never join you. You may have mystic powers, but we have a more powerful weapon than that.

Julie: What are you talking about Keith? Those bumbling men who can't land a broom, or Lisa and Sandie who are too busy writing fake diaries about each other.

Keith: No Julie, we have more than that. We have ....

At this very moment, a blinding flash of a grenish, bluish red light appeared from nowhere and standing there was ...

Postby **KeithS** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:06 pm

...Kevid Rudd.

Meanwhile, in Cambodia...Della, Lisa, Anthony and Greg, follow Sandie's footsteps to the jungle clearing outside, where a large helicopter (piloted by Wayne and Jennifer) awaits.

Sandie (over the racket of chopper blades): Come on folks, get aboard! Wayne, set course to you know where.

Wayne: Roger, it's dialed in.

Greg: You know where? Where's that?

Sandie: There.

Anthony: Where?

Sandie: You know...

Della: Where?

Sandie: Yeah...

All: Huh?

Sandie (exasperated): Tell them Jennifer.

Jennifer: Where else? Area-51 via the Cambodian worm hole.

Greg: That sounds rude...

Sandie: Nope, just uncomfortable, now hang on!

The helicopter lifts off, and seconds later, are they sucked into an inter-dimensional wormhole...which feels similar to having your entire body siphoned through a plastic straw similar to the ones you get with your thickshake at McDonalds...

Della: eewwwwwwweeeeeeegurbleeeeee...

sandie · Postby **sandie** » Sat Dec 15, 2007 3:52 pm

Sandie: Haaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg ooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn fffeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss

Wayne: Ok we're almost clear now. over.

(There is a loud pop and the helicopter is suddenly hovering over a diner. The UFO Diner!)

Greg: Who are you people? I have worked with you professionally for countless years, gotten to know some of you quite intimately ... For a while I even thought I would marry one of you, even considered planning a romantic proposal but now I see you are all just freaks!

Sandie: Freaks? I don't think so. As you are about to see the fate of not just our nation, not just our world but entire galaxies rests upon our broad shoulders. But first time for carbs!

Anthony: I know - you want a double bacon cheeseburger with a side of cheese fries, a side of onion rings and a brownie super sundae to finish up! Am I right huh, am I right?

Sandie: You know you are baby.

(they enter the diner and at the first sniff of greasy food Lisa starts to wake up.)

Della: i knew this one wouldn't be able to resist a burger!

Sandie: Yeah...shes known for it - lucky we alll had those bulgarian tape worms inserted 5 years ago or we would all be the size of a house!

Lisa: Where am I?

Sandie : The good ol' UFO Diner - what do you want before we hed out to the landing site?

Jennifer: Just some fries for me.

Greg: Double beef burger for me.

Sandie: Wayne?

Wayne: Ceasar Salad, dressing on the side, no bread.

All: What!!!!!!!

Wayne: Just kidding! I'll have a peperoni pie.

Lisa: I feel like I have been out of it for a week. I'll have a cheeseburger, fries, onion rings, cheese toast, eggs over easy, side of crispy bacon, apple pie a la mode, a brownie and a bottle of water - I am watching my figure you know.

Greg: (almost purring) what a woman.....

(They all sit in a booth and are about t order when they notice the waitres looks famiiar)

Postby **mushu mama** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:23 pm

The waitress turns around and the familiar features of Julian Clarey split into a big grin...
order book in hand and around the chewing gum he asks....
"What'll it be boys?"

ajp · Postby **ajp** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 8:42 am

[Now that the Hollywood writer's strike is over, and Lisa is putting bad rabbit jokes on her signature, it is time to re-join our fearless gang of misfits in a new location and TV show, or shows, depending how this goes.]

Anthony: What happened?
Sandie: I don't know last I remember we were in a diner about to order some really crappy food...
Lisa: From a bloke, I think ...
Anthony: Are we Lost?
Keith: (yelling from afar) Hey you guys come over here, check this out!

They all wander over to Keith standing on a hill.

Postby **KeithS** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 11:40 am

Sandie: I'm Lost, I have no idea what's happening.

Keith: Over here! Come over here!

Lisa: Where are we? It looks like a jungle...

Anthony: I can hear the ocean, maybe it is an island...

Keith (increasingly frustrated): Come over here!! I've found something!

Sandie: Aren't we missing a few people...where's Greg, Della, Wayne, Jennifer...

Lisa: Maybe they are still at he diner - those hamburgers sure looked good.

Anthony: Come on, let's see what Keith's found...

Cresting a hill, our heroes look into a wide grassy valley towards the volcanic hills in the distance. Keith stands beside a strange hatch...

Keith: Look what I found, inside this hatch is a room full of paperwork...

Sandie: Huh?

Anthony (picking up some of the paper...): It's a script...

Keith: They are all scripts...the dumped scripts from the Hollywood writers strike. The really b-grade stuff that would have been filmed if the good writers hadn't gone back to work...and look at this - they are all called "The Neverending Story". I'm beginning to doubt our own reality - I believe we are just characters in a b-grade plot.

All: Nooooooo!!!!!!!

Postby **mushu mama** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:47 pm

[Bad Rabbit jokes?

what Bad Rabbit jokes... they're pure gold.

And I'm saving the best for last.... hehehe..... ]

Meanwhile in a bunker not far away on the other side of the island...

The muffled and increasingly desperate cries for help from Greg, Della, Wayne and Jennifer go unheard but for the ears of their captor Jess, lounging in an armchair in the corner of the room, absentmindedly flicking through the huge stack of comics piled beside her.

"Pipe down you lot" she drawls 'There's no one within a thousand miles of here and your chances of rescue are zilch.' and with a detached kind of fascination added.... " You'll make great subjects for our next round of experiments and from what I hear, given enough time, you'll be begging for those gags to be back in your mouths... so save your strength - you're gonna need it".....
Attempting to return to her reading, it wasn't long, though, before her nose wrinkled with disgust "Oh my Lord.... what .... is.... that.... smell?"

ajp · Postby **ajp** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:13 pm

The 4 captives looked at each other with bewilderment. One of them hoping that the others didn't notice the red face.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the island ...

Anthony and Keith were reading the scripts ...

Anthony: Hey look at this, these B grade writers are using fart jokes. Gotta love that!
Lisa: I wish you too would get up here and help us out
Sandie: Yeah, I have a feeling that Greg, Della, Wayne and Jennifer are in trouble. Either that or they've been caught in an incredible time warp as a result of the shift in the time space continuim.

Postby **KeithS** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:06 pm

Keith (ignoring Sandie's plea to drop the scripts): Look here Anthony, this page says that Greg, Della, Wayne and Jennifer are being held captive by Jess in a hatch on an island...

Anthony: What happens next?

Keith: I dunno - the rest of the pages are missing...

Sandie: Come on you two - stop your chatter, we've a rescue to accomplish.

Lisa (staring at the page in her hand): This can't be good, this can't be good...

Keith, Anthony and Sandie: What?

Lisa: This page is a couple of chapters on...and it seems that Jess is an Evil Queen from a 2-Dimensional world...and she's taken our friends into her 2D world!

Keith: Oh...this is too cool - let's go!

Postby **mushu mama** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:20 pm

And with a blinding flash of lightning, and seemingly out of thin air, a sleek silver Delorean came to a screeching halt in that quiet grass covered valley.

"EEEEK" squeeked Anthony...
Sandie: " what the h*** was that? (Under her breath) "Anthony... you scream like a girl"

Inside the hatch the occupants dropped the dubious scripts and raced outside to see the doors of the Delorean glide upwards with a WHOOSH of steam.... and out of one side leapt Della, cat-like clad in black leather from head to toe and her eyes shaded with the darkest sunglasses the world has ever seen, toting a silver handgun in her black gloved hands. Out of the other side, Greg struggled to unfold himself from the confines of the tiny interior, looking for all the world like he had just stepped out of the thunderdome.
Greg: "see Della...we made it.... I TOLD you that the flux capacitor was fluxing...."
Della: "Yeah... but you were just lucky the lightning hit the clock tower when it did....."

Keith: Guys... Guys... how did you get here? Where are Wayne and Jennifer? (and looking puzzled) And what the hell are you wearing?

sandie · Postby **sandie** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:05 am

Della: Why baby – don’t you like it?
Greg: Does my bottom look big in this?
Della: Oh my god…………

Keith: Della, there is no time for this we have bigger issues and Greg yes it does – deal with it!

Sandie: Yes we seem to be ………….LOST!!!!!!!! Oh and I think I am pregnant.

Keith: What?

Sandie: Well its obviously not yours or Anthony’s – I think I was abducted by aliens and probed………..

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